“Whatever energy you put out to the universe is the energy that comes back to you.”
In 2013, I found myself at the climax of what had been an unprecedented period of negativity in my life. For five long years, I was a shadow of my former self. The confident, bubbly, enthusiastic woman that I prided myself as being, faded away as if she was never anything other than a figment of my imagination.
Most of my struggle stemmed from the demise of my career. I felt like a bystander watching my professional career tank right before my eyes.
You see, I’d left my well-paying job in Ohio, and uprooted to South Carolina because of a job opportunity for my husband. While the move was a fantastic decision for his career, my career went downhill faster than I could ask, “What the hell just happened?”
In August 2013, I came across the movie The Secret. Someone had previously given me a copy of the book, which I had glanced at once or twice but never actually finished. All I knew about The Secret was that it had something to do with the secret to happiness, and after all of the failure and disappointment in the last few years of my life, nothing sounded better than the possibility (however remote) of experiencing happiness again.
By the end of the movie, I was flabbergasted. How in the hell had this secret escaped me for so long? Why had I not realized, or read, or been told that despite all of life’s happenings, I controlled my thoughts, therefore I controlled my happiness?
It was as if I’d been sitting in the dark for the last five years, and someone strolled along and switched on the lights for me. I felt this weird surge of empowerment. I finally understood that I’d been trying to change my life with external changes–new jobs, new businesses, wanting to move back to Ohio, etc. But in reality, it was my mindset and soul that needed the change.
That was the first night that I realized the true power of my thoughts. I realized for the first time that my thoughts mold my reality. I made it my daily mission to push out more positive, optimistic thoughts with a goal of creating a better me.
“When life gives you lemons, sometimes you decide to make orange juice.”
In 2013, I found out I was pregnant with my 4th child. I knew my relationship wasn’t any good for me, but we had other children together to think of. My initial reaction was that I didn’t want to have another baby with this man. I didn’t want to have an abortion –I didn’t believe in them – but I felt trapped. I didn’t know what to do. I felt so bad, but made the appointment anyway. They didn’t have an opening for two days. I knew I needed to take this time to really think this through. I needed answers.
I sought out the help of a psychic. (I didn’t tell her I was pregnant, by the way, I wanted to see if she was a real deal.) As if I wasn’t already afraid enough, she told me I had been cursed by a woman in my partner’s life. Upon flipping the next tarot card, we discovered that woman was me.
I knew instantly that she was right. I was cursing myself by holding on to bad situations – by constantly replaying and reliving things in my mind. I created the same reality over and over – I got pregnant, got a job, lost the job. This happened every year for 7 years – it wasn’t Groundhog Day, it was Groundhog Year.
The psychic also helped me realize some deep-seated family issues and that I hadn’t really put on my big girl panties yet. Most importantly, she told me that abortion wasn’t the right choice for me and would leave me in a very dark cloud for a long time – possibly forever.
I decided, with her help, to keep my child.
My session with her made me completely positive that my thoughts really do become things. I wasn’t surprised by this idea exactly – looking back, I could name many times when I had fixated on something I wanted and eventually received it.
Although I knew this to be true, the process of living it wasn’t easy. The idea of consciously filtering my mind, of being such a strong creator of my reality, was daunting. I also didn’t have anyone to guide me through this process. I definitely relapsed a few times. I even returned to my old partner and had another child with him, my 5th. I was filled with fear, and lost complete confidence in myself. I didn’t know who I was whatsoever, I didn’t believe I was capable of making the changes I needed, while caring for 5 kids under the age of 8.
Then, I discovered my partner had another child with another woman. It became clear that I was attaching myself to someone who did not care for me. I didn’t deserve that. My children didn’t deserve that. He felt entitled to treat us poorly, and I knew that wasn’t right. This was a huge turning point for me.
I started reinventing myself – reading more and working to re-open my communication with God. I got a new job – which required a month’s training in Toronto. Without my children, I knew I had to take this month to focus on myself and re-discover the God I knew, and not the God I had been taught to fear.
I came back home a different person. The job turned out not to be right for me. I was making great money, but felt like I was not doing enough as a mom. So, I quit!
I reminded myself that I’m a creator. I told myself I would have a new job by December 1st, and lo and behold, I did (on the 1st exactly).
I realized I had a new calling – to teach other mothers that their bad situations are temporary, and that the moment they choose change, change will come.
I have since made a commitment to dedicate the rest of my professional life to helping women create gorgeous mindsets and gorgeous lives.
Now is the time for you to make change happen.
Life is all about the things that make you smile and feel happy and good about yourself. The Gorgeous Mindset Effect is here to help you cultivate those feeling inside of you so life can begin to operate in a different and better way.
“When your life starts to flow, every aspect of it gets better and better.”
Well, Gorgeous…whether you are just now realizing there is more to life or even if you have been struggling for a while to reach the best you, we are here to inspire you to take one step closer to becoming the PERSON YOU ALWAYS DREAMED YOU COULD BE.
We truly believe that living an extraordinary life is possible for you. Yes, we will share our stories and resources, however, it’s you (and only you) who can determine your success. It’s up to you to purposely set goals, create action plans, and make a commitment to yourself to follow through.
We choose to live life INTENTIONALLY. We know that you can create your own success story too. You just have to get started!
Lani & Kari
“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and GORGEOUS at the end!”